


Failed Mission

by Clarisse (transnymphtaire)



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Eavesdropping, M/M, Spying, smoking and drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-14 01:50:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9151840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transnymphtaire/pseuds/Clarisse
Summary: Date Night is not what Credence expected. Thank god for martinis.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [edvic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/edvic/gifts), [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> The first fanfiction of 2017 is my beautiful try at writing prompts from partofforever and bigjellymonster at the same time.

“When you told me that you were taking me to a bar, I expected that we were going to dance, not play spies.” Credence pouted as Percy handed him a martini. They were sitting in a booth which gave them a perfect view of the rest of the bar.

“We’re not playing spies,” Percy sighed. He couldn’t remember why he thought he should bring Credence with him. “It’s an official Auror assignment.”

“It’s an assignment to spy.” Credence pointed out, and took a sip of his martini. Percy couldn’t come up with a good argument, and instead lightened a cigarette. The 1920’s themed bar thankfully allowed inside smoking, and even provided authentic cigarette holders. They wouldn’t even been let inside unless they were wearing 1920’s fashion. Thankfully a bit of magic could get you far when it came to transfiguring robes into suits. How nice the suit sat on Credence’s figure was perhaps why he decide to bring the younger man in the first place. It definitely gave him something to look at until his targets arrived.

They sat in silence for a while, Credence sipping his martini and Percy smoking his cigarette. Soft jazz music played in the background - they would have to return to the bar to dance some other time.

“Who are we even spying on?” Credence finally asked, after he had finished his drink.

“Thomas Riddle and Hadrian Potter, two British wizards. Word from Britain is that they’ve come to America to gain followers.”

“You’re doing this as a favor to Dumbledore,” Credence deduced, and stood up to get another martini. “You are the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, you could have given this task to Tina or whoever else who doesn’t have Date Night on Saturdays.”

“Tina and Newt has a double date with Queenie and Jacob,” Percy answered absently. “And isn’t this more exciting than going to the movies?”

“No.” Credence answered before he left for the bar. Percy took another drag of his cigarette and leaned back to his seat. He could see his targets sitting down two tables over, and sent an eavesdropping charm their way.

{“...our walls would look really good in bloodred.” Thomas said.

“No, Tom.” Hadrian answered. “We’ve been over this - nothing bloody in our home!”}

Percy straightened up in his seat. Were they actually discussing blood in public? Had Hadrian said _their_ home? He barely noticed as Credence sat down in front of him again with a new martini glass.

{“Not even my study?” Thomas - no, Hadrian had said Tom - asked.

“I will not let you fuck me over your desk if the walls look bloody.” Hadrian answered, and downed a glass of whiskey.}

Percy felt a blush rise to his cheeks as he understood the relationship between his targets. He internally cursed Dumbledore for not mentioning that detail.

“Then I’ll owl Queenie about a triple date with her, Jacob, Tina, and Newt.” Credence said in the background. Percy nodded automatically; he had no idea what Credence had been saying the last few minutes.

{“But it’s my house too, Harry,” Tom complained. “I have just as much a say in this as you do.”

“I expected you to want green walls,” Harry commented. “Not red.”}

Percy almost choked on the smoke he just inhaled. Green? The longer he listened, the more confused he felt.

“We should get married,” Credence drily stated in the background. “Maybe adopt one of Newt’s beasts.”

{“Then I want Avada Kedavra green walls in the study.”

“I’m not stopping you, but we should try to have a colour scheme.”

“Green is a colour scheme.”

“We’re not having green walls in the bedroom.”}

Percy had stiffened at the mention of the killing curse, but the rest of the conversation made it clear that Tom and Harry were discussing colours to paint the walls of their home and nothing else. He shook his head slightly and canceled the eavesdropping charm. Dumbledore had a lot of explanation to do.

“It’s decided, we’ll have our honeymoon in Sweden.” Credence said. Percy blinked, and took in the three empty martini glasses between them on the table. When had Credence got the third glass?

“Sorry- you were saying?” he asked, not sure if he wanted to know what he had missed.

“We’re going on a triple date next Date Night, then we’re going to get married, adopt one of Newt’s beasts and go on a honeymoon to Sweden.” Credence’s voice was deadpan as he counted on his fingers.

“...we can discuss all those things tomorrow.” Percy decided. “Let's go home.”

“You’re done playing spy?”

“I’ll send a Howler to Dumbledore first thing in the morning because he ruined Date Night.” Percy promised.

“Good,” Credence nodded. “Then you don’t have to sleep on the sofa.”

Two tables over, Harry and Tom were looking on with amusement.

“I think the MACUSA needs a new head of the DMLE,” Harry laughed. “He stopped listening far too quickly.”

“The standards really are lower in America than Britain,” Tom agreed. “Now, can we go back to the matter at hand?”

“How to go about gaining political support in the american ministry?” Harry asked.

“No, what colours to use in our home. Can we at least have bloodred walls in the dungeon? It would make cleaning easier.”

“When you put it- _wait_. Tom, we’re not having a dungeon.”

“But where else would we keep our prisoners?”

Harry looked over at Percival Graves and Credence Barebone. Their relationship looked much easier than his relationship with Tom. He did not envy them in the least - what fun would a relationship be without useless arguing? He turned back to Tom, and licked his lips as he got an idea.

“Maybe you should try to convince me in the bedroom.”

Tom got the cue immediately, and they ended up leaving the bar at the same time as Graves and Barebone.

“I hope we’ll be invited to the wedding.” Harry said as they passed by. Tom had cast an eavesdropping charm for them both the moment they spotted the Auror in the bar. It had been rather entertaining to listen to Credence’s tipsy rambling.

“Only if we’re invited to your housewarming party.” Credence replied, having gotten the story from Percy.

As Harry and Credence started chatting pleasantly, Tom and Percy glared at each other. This Date Night had not gone as either of them imagined. Tom almost felt smug that he would still get laid, especially when he met Graves’ tired eyes.

“We could always discuss our mutual dislike for Dumbledore.” Tom suggested after it became clear that Harry and Barebone would not stop talking any time soon.

“As long as this don’t turn into a double date.” Percy sighed. He had never failed a mission this badly before.

“Not even in your wildest dreams.” Tom grimaced - it was far too likely that there would be double dates in their future, seeing how their partners went on like a house on fire.

Miles away, Luna Lovegood looked up from the flowercrown she was making to remark to her girlfriend Ginny Weasley that the heliopaths in America were unusually lively.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing the end was the hardest part, it was just so funny that I wanted to keep writing more.


End file.
